Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
