therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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