oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
