she looked like the bat from fern gully.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Dear god my vagina.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
