This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
