Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
