either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
