BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
