After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
