You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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