people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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