Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
