You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
