I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
