just come out here and I will go home with you...
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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