a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I forget how to act sober
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