i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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