the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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