Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
