Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
