like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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