More tranny stories later!
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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