Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
