babies were throwing up all over the place
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So squirting runs in the family.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
