just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
