Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I'm passing your future prison.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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