This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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