Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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