Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
