He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
