she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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