apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
