oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
