I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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