You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
