why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
