my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
