Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
