i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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