did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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