there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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