I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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