are you still at the devil's house?
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
