just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
