I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You were trust falling into bushes
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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