I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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