fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
