Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
