I'm sorry my penis didn't work
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
