after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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