Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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