dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
